The RH Bill is probably the most controversial bill of all times. Being a catholic country, perhaps we are bound to follow what the bishops and priests teach us. On the other hand, having millions and millions of people in poverty isn't something we as catholics should turn our back on.
Years ago, I was faced with the challenge of being a single mother. I was 22, and I was taking up my masters. True, I had already graduated from college, but I was still too young considering life in your 20's should be that of working and unwinding and going out. The pressures of working should be the pressure one had to endure and not the pressure of feeding and raising someone else. Traveling with your own money was probably a leisure one should avail of while single and earning.
Truth be told, the moment I found out about my pregnancy, I did not panic although I knew that I was going to be alone (more or less). I knew that I had to tell my parents eventually but for the meantime, the first 6 months to be exact, I hid it from them and save for a few friends, I kept it to myself. Going on check ups alone, making sure I took care of myself. After all, who else would take care of my boy?
Another truth be told, I was pressured not to push through. Perhaps if the RH bill was already in place, I would still choose to have my child, alone or not. At the height of the extreme pressure of it all, I was quite happy that I was able to survive with my dignity intact.
And although now I am still burdened with the guilt of raising a very inquisitive and sensitive boy/man, I believe my choice was still the best for me at the time.
But you see, herein lies the difference between me and the other "teenage single mother". I for one, although I was at odds with my family at the time never had the doubt that they would eventually forgive me for my carelessness and my being hardheaded. I knew for a fact that eventually, I would find work to support my son, never mind if I had to give up some luxuries. Being a single mother (or any other mother) meant giving up certain things like going out at night or nice haircuts or sleep but in the end it was all worth it.
On the other hand, there are thousands out there, mothers below the poverty line who have to resort to giving their children away or abortion, or worse, giving birth in public comfort rooms and leaving the child in trash cans. These are the worst case scenarios. I challenge any bishop to say that withdrawal and natural planning is enough.
We Filipinos are said to be resilient people. We laugh at the face of tragedies and defeat. We are happy for Manny Pacquiao and other Filipinos who do good in other countries. But we refuse to patronize our own products. I am proud to be pinoy for a lot of reasons, but I am also aware that most of us, if not all lack discipline. We lack the willpower. We are courageous and we are "creative/madiskarte" but we are responsible in other ways. But we are like kids so to speak who need to be disciplined and set with rules in order to progress.
Dear Bishop, it is not for the millions of Filipinos who are below poverty line that the RH bill is for. It is for the unborn babies and the scared mothers and the not so good fathers who will never know what the mothers gave up. It is for the street children and the children in orphanages and the 12 kids who share one cup of noodles or worse never eat at all. It is for the children who knock on your windows to sell sampaguita, or rags or a piece of their soul. We cringe at the thought of these children whose parents are probably working as well or just expect their kids to do it for them. We shudder when we see them side by side sleeping on streets, or probably are just so used to them that we no longer give it a second thought to give P1 or P5 or our leftovers. But enough is enough.
We need a big steady hand to make sure that each and every child is born to a pair (or one) loving parents. We need a bill that would help each woman decide that I am a mother and I will do my best to take care of my child. This bill will not promote promiscuity any more than encouraging someone to go to a war with very little weapons. This is a war against oppression of rights. That of the mother, that of the child, and that of a society whose sheer number will result to a lack of resources.
Times like these call for a stricter bill that should be enforced properly. Perhaps in due time, once we have reaped the benefits of having choices will we be more discerning.
Mr. Bishop, unless you have the resources to feed all of us, give us shelter and clothing. I suggest you stick to teaching us the way to care for our children when they are no longer hungry or running around the streets half naked. I have the highest respect for life. I have the highest respect for people who struggle everyday to make ends meet. However, my same respect for life binds me to respect quality of life. Contraceptives stop contraception as the name says. Please, it is not the time to be extremely scientific about it. The fact that you are using one means you do not wish to be pregnant. Couples should have a choice about spacing their children. After all, these are not just for teenagers.
Ten years ago, the 22 year old me had a choice. I chose to raise a son. These days, I wish for every woman to have a choice too. I choose LIFE, a better life.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Everyday Runway Models
Let's face it, not all of us can become runway models. With the stringent weight and height requirements, its refreshing to note that there are boutiques with fresh, new items that offer you options apart from the run of the mill boutiques you see in tiangges and bazaars all over.
Owned by my batchmate and friend Cecile Velasco, one of Runway's boutiques is located in Pergola mall near the ice cream place we frequent. It was my mom who discovered the place while going around the mall when the rest of my nieces and son were eating ice cream in our favorite place. She got one of the blouses, afterwhich she asked me to come back for the 2nd one since she really liked the first blouse she got. She was quite happy with her floral blouses because number 1, they fit her well, which was a good sign, and second, they were fashionable, and for my fashion conscious but (a bit on the plus sized) mom, this was great. Of course, I went for the bag which was on sale. A pale pink one which seemed to be able to fit all my everyday baggage. I particularly liked the round designs that hung on the side as part of the charm bracelet. When I came back, I got 2 more dresses after my mom got her 2nd blouse. All in all, they were great finds. After all, my shopping trips to ruins usually consists of just DVDs or eating and drinking in the food stall (of course when I'm with Bobby). Ruins is the place to be when greenhills or divi is too far. = )
Upon first entering Runway, I was really impressed with the nice interiors which were black and white. My old nail place used to be there and although it will be missed, Runway seems to be a great replacement. I know I will definitely come back and have other great Runway model finds. After all, James the shop attendant has me on his preferred guest list.
Happy modelling! = )
Owned by my batchmate and friend Cecile Velasco, one of Runway's boutiques is located in Pergola mall near the ice cream place we frequent. It was my mom who discovered the place while going around the mall when the rest of my nieces and son were eating ice cream in our favorite place. She got one of the blouses, afterwhich she asked me to come back for the 2nd one since she really liked the first blouse she got. She was quite happy with her floral blouses because number 1, they fit her well, which was a good sign, and second, they were fashionable, and for my fashion conscious but (a bit on the plus sized) mom, this was great. Of course, I went for the bag which was on sale. A pale pink one which seemed to be able to fit all my everyday baggage. I particularly liked the round designs that hung on the side as part of the charm bracelet. When I came back, I got 2 more dresses after my mom got her 2nd blouse. All in all, they were great finds. After all, my shopping trips to ruins usually consists of just DVDs or eating and drinking in the food stall (of course when I'm with Bobby). Ruins is the place to be when greenhills or divi is too far. = )
Upon first entering Runway, I was really impressed with the nice interiors which were black and white. My old nail place used to be there and although it will be missed, Runway seems to be a great replacement. I know I will definitely come back and have other great Runway model finds. After all, James the shop attendant has me on his preferred guest list.
Happy modelling! = )
Monday, May 2, 2011
Dear TJ
Dear TJ.
You must know this about me. Ever since I was a teenager...I've always wanted to have a baby. Don't get me wrong, I respect the sanctity of marriage and I have a deep respect for people who worked it out with their childhood sweethearts or just anybody they met, their "soulmates" so to speak. BUT, at a young age, one thing that I know I was sure of. I really wanted to have somebody in the world who I love completely and would love me back completely. Fast forward to 2001. I was a happy-go-lucky 22 year old helping out with our furniture business and enrolled in one of the most prestigious business schools in the country. I was having the time of my life, having graduated (with sort of flying colors) and at the top of my "career" so to speak, being the youngest among seasoned entrepreneurs. I was the most watched student among my peers of CEOs, creative directors, and COOs like me. But most had experiences that I could only imagine. Like my professor said, I was still too young at that time to be in that business school.
On the side, I had a boyfriend (your dad) whom I felt like me was an "artist". A musician, graphic artist and photographer. I guess like most girls, being with one made me feel like a very important and loved person. We had a lot of plans to put up our own ad agency and all. = ) Like a fairy tale, he made songs for me. I wasn't sure about many things, but I thought maybe he was the one.
BRAVE. Or maybe just plain stupid. This was how I imagine I was, if I were to describe myself. Telling only a few close friends, I hid my condition to our own family. Planning where I go should the inevitable happen. The person who was supposed to "rock" my world left me to fend for my own. And his friends? They disappeared. (Except for a few, his ninang who once gave me money for check up) One even had the nerve to call me incessantly to offer his hand in marriage. Ah marriage, this was something offered to me twice (contrary to belief that all single moms were shunned) in exchange for going behind our parents back, going to the province and having the "problem" removed. So instead of him rocking my world, he shattered his, and in return, I never talked to him again for the duration of my pregnancy.
The thing was, the bravery that I showed sort of became a norm when I was pregnant. My pre-pregnant self couldn't even get water in the dark in our house. The thought that I was never going to be alone again comforted me. The thought that there was something, even greater than my own life growing inside of me, and that never again should I question if there was a God who can create something so beautiful and someone you know you love with everything you've got even if you never met that person yet.
Fast forward to 10 years. I am now a mother to you--- a bright, inquisitive boy/young man who has a lot of ideas and creativity brewing in his young mind. From being a super precocious toddler you're now a deep person who asks me questions that I never knew you could think of--on topics which I thought 10 year olds could not comprehend yet nor take interest in. Name a computer game and you'll be very good in it. Name a sport or toy and you'll be interested in it, enough to beat me (well I was never sporty haha) You've shown business sense at a very early age. In short, you're a bit like me but only a BETTER version. A much better version.
One thing you mention is how embarrassed you are talk about you, or your antics. But perhaps, in this case you'll make an exception. It is my blog anyway, and years from now, I want to be able to tell you how I feel.
One of the regrets I have is you not having a dad all the time to teach you the guitar or how to pitch a tent or join you in your father-son camping trip. How I got teary eyed when someone told me precisely why you should never be boy scout because of that camping trip or that mistakenly calling you bastard without knowing its meaning (technically you are a love child but that's another story). How I wish I can tell you that given the chance, I would have fought for you and for our family. But what we have now is something more special, and that I know you will be a better, stronger person because of it. I know that more than us, someone else is suffering the big loss from not knowing the real you and not being able to spend time with you. He'll have the rest of his life filled with regret for missing out on your childhood years.
Thank you so much for understanding your "kulit" mom who will probably try to be cool and end up embarrassing you. (Hey I am sometimes cool according to you) For understanding that although I am not able to give you all the material things in the world, I am able to give you your needs and wants right now. The rest, you will have to work hard for, and I know you will. You promised me that you will not be a criminal (haha) and I am thankful for that, but most of all, you did tell me that you will buy a house in tahanan village so you will always be near me. You also promised to drive for me someday with your red ferrari to where ever I want to go. Right now, you are very sharp and its evident in how you talk to my colleagues but I know that you are very sweet and loving when its just us. = )
My friend asked you if you love your dad, and you have difficulty answering, knowing your answer might hurt me, but I just want you to know that I could never ever hate the person who gave you to me. I may not like him all the time but I can never hate him. He gave me YOU and that is the greatest gift in the world ever. I might not have a high profile career but I am doing something I really love and I am able to support you. I might not have my prestigious masters degree but I have so much more to be proud of. I might still be clueless on a lot of things, but one thing's for sure---I am a better person because of you. I will fail on many more challenges, but I know I will always be somebody in your eyes and that is enough for me.
I can't tell you more often how much I'm glad you came to my life. How much you matter to me and how much knowing you has changed me. Thank you for telling me you love me everyday, and if there'll be a time when you won't I know its only a stage and you won't mean it. One thing for sure, I love you and you have made me so much happier. TJ.
Love, your not-so-beautful-only-cute (according to you) Mom.
= )
You must know this about me. Ever since I was a teenager...I've always wanted to have a baby. Don't get me wrong, I respect the sanctity of marriage and I have a deep respect for people who worked it out with their childhood sweethearts or just anybody they met, their "soulmates" so to speak. BUT, at a young age, one thing that I know I was sure of. I really wanted to have somebody in the world who I love completely and would love me back completely. Fast forward to 2001. I was a happy-go-lucky 22 year old helping out with our furniture business and enrolled in one of the most prestigious business schools in the country. I was having the time of my life, having graduated (with sort of flying colors) and at the top of my "career" so to speak, being the youngest among seasoned entrepreneurs. I was the most watched student among my peers of CEOs, creative directors, and COOs like me. But most had experiences that I could only imagine. Like my professor said, I was still too young at that time to be in that business school.
On the side, I had a boyfriend (your dad) whom I felt like me was an "artist". A musician, graphic artist and photographer. I guess like most girls, being with one made me feel like a very important and loved person. We had a lot of plans to put up our own ad agency and all. = ) Like a fairy tale, he made songs for me. I wasn't sure about many things, but I thought maybe he was the one.
BRAVE. Or maybe just plain stupid. This was how I imagine I was, if I were to describe myself. Telling only a few close friends, I hid my condition to our own family. Planning where I go should the inevitable happen. The person who was supposed to "rock" my world left me to fend for my own. And his friends? They disappeared. (Except for a few, his ninang who once gave me money for check up) One even had the nerve to call me incessantly to offer his hand in marriage. Ah marriage, this was something offered to me twice (contrary to belief that all single moms were shunned) in exchange for going behind our parents back, going to the province and having the "problem" removed. So instead of him rocking my world, he shattered his, and in return, I never talked to him again for the duration of my pregnancy.
The thing was, the bravery that I showed sort of became a norm when I was pregnant. My pre-pregnant self couldn't even get water in the dark in our house. The thought that I was never going to be alone again comforted me. The thought that there was something, even greater than my own life growing inside of me, and that never again should I question if there was a God who can create something so beautiful and someone you know you love with everything you've got even if you never met that person yet.
Fast forward to 10 years. I am now a mother to you--- a bright, inquisitive boy/young man who has a lot of ideas and creativity brewing in his young mind. From being a super precocious toddler you're now a deep person who asks me questions that I never knew you could think of--on topics which I thought 10 year olds could not comprehend yet nor take interest in. Name a computer game and you'll be very good in it. Name a sport or toy and you'll be interested in it, enough to beat me (well I was never sporty haha) You've shown business sense at a very early age. In short, you're a bit like me but only a BETTER version. A much better version.
One thing you mention is how embarrassed you are talk about you, or your antics. But perhaps, in this case you'll make an exception. It is my blog anyway, and years from now, I want to be able to tell you how I feel.
One of the regrets I have is you not having a dad all the time to teach you the guitar or how to pitch a tent or join you in your father-son camping trip. How I got teary eyed when someone told me precisely why you should never be boy scout because of that camping trip or that mistakenly calling you bastard without knowing its meaning (technically you are a love child but that's another story). How I wish I can tell you that given the chance, I would have fought for you and for our family. But what we have now is something more special, and that I know you will be a better, stronger person because of it. I know that more than us, someone else is suffering the big loss from not knowing the real you and not being able to spend time with you. He'll have the rest of his life filled with regret for missing out on your childhood years.
Thank you so much for understanding your "kulit" mom who will probably try to be cool and end up embarrassing you. (Hey I am sometimes cool according to you) For understanding that although I am not able to give you all the material things in the world, I am able to give you your needs and wants right now. The rest, you will have to work hard for, and I know you will. You promised me that you will not be a criminal (haha) and I am thankful for that, but most of all, you did tell me that you will buy a house in tahanan village so you will always be near me. You also promised to drive for me someday with your red ferrari to where ever I want to go. Right now, you are very sharp and its evident in how you talk to my colleagues but I know that you are very sweet and loving when its just us. = )
My friend asked you if you love your dad, and you have difficulty answering, knowing your answer might hurt me, but I just want you to know that I could never ever hate the person who gave you to me. I may not like him all the time but I can never hate him. He gave me YOU and that is the greatest gift in the world ever. I might not have a high profile career but I am doing something I really love and I am able to support you. I might not have my prestigious masters degree but I have so much more to be proud of. I might still be clueless on a lot of things, but one thing's for sure---I am a better person because of you. I will fail on many more challenges, but I know I will always be somebody in your eyes and that is enough for me.
I can't tell you more often how much I'm glad you came to my life. How much you matter to me and how much knowing you has changed me. Thank you for telling me you love me everyday, and if there'll be a time when you won't I know its only a stage and you won't mean it. One thing for sure, I love you and you have made me so much happier. TJ.
Love, your not-so-beautful-only-cute (according to you) Mom.
= )
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