Monday, May 23, 2011

My Choice

The RH Bill is probably the most controversial bill of all times.   Being a catholic country, perhaps we are bound to follow what the bishops and priests teach us.  On the other hand, having millions and millions of people in poverty isn't something we as catholics should turn our back on.

Years ago, I was faced with the challenge of being a single mother.  I was 22, and I was taking up my masters.  True, I had already graduated from college, but I was still too young considering life in your 20's should be that of working and unwinding and going out.  The pressures of working should be the pressure one had to endure and not the pressure of feeding and raising someone else.  Traveling with your own money was probably a leisure one should avail of while single and earning.

Truth be told, the moment I found out about my pregnancy, I did not panic although I knew that I was going to be alone (more or less).  I knew that I had to tell my parents eventually but for the meantime, the first 6 months to be exact, I hid it from them and save for a few friends, I kept it to myself.  Going on check ups alone, making sure I took care of myself.  After all, who else would take care of my boy?

Another truth be told, I was pressured not to push through.  Perhaps if the RH bill was already in place, I would still choose to have my child, alone or not. At the height of the extreme pressure of it all, I was quite happy that I was able to survive with my dignity intact.

And although now I am still burdened with the guilt of raising a very inquisitive and sensitive boy/man, I believe my choice was still the best for me at the time.

But you see, herein lies the difference between me and the other "teenage single mother".  I for one, although I was at odds with my family at the time never had the doubt that they would eventually forgive me for my carelessness and my being hardheaded.  I knew for a fact that eventually, I would find work to support my son, never mind if I had to give up some luxuries.  Being a single mother (or any other mother) meant giving up certain things like going out at night or nice haircuts or sleep but in the end it was all worth it.

On the other hand, there are thousands out there, mothers below the poverty line who have to resort to giving their children away or abortion, or worse, giving birth in public comfort rooms and leaving the child in trash cans.  These are the worst case scenarios.  I challenge any bishop to say that withdrawal and natural planning is enough.

We Filipinos are said to be resilient people.  We laugh at the face of tragedies and defeat.  We are happy for Manny Pacquiao and other Filipinos who do good in other countries.  But we refuse to patronize our own products.  I am proud to be pinoy for a lot of reasons, but I am also aware that most of us, if not all lack discipline.  We lack the willpower.  We are courageous and we are "creative/madiskarte" but we are responsible in other ways.  But we are like kids so to speak who need to be disciplined and set with rules in order to progress.

Dear Bishop, it is not for the millions of Filipinos who are below poverty line that the RH bill is for.  It is for the unborn babies and the scared mothers and the not so good fathers who will never know what the mothers gave up.  It is for the street children and the children in orphanages and the 12 kids who share one cup of noodles or worse never eat at all.  It is for the children who knock on your windows to sell sampaguita, or rags or a piece of their soul.  We cringe at the thought of these children whose parents are probably working as well or just expect their kids to do it for them.  We shudder when we see them side by side sleeping on streets, or probably are just so used to them that we no longer give it a second thought to give P1 or P5 or our leftovers.  But enough is enough. 

We need a big steady hand to make sure that each and every child is born to a pair (or one) loving parents.  We need a bill that would help each woman decide that I am a mother and I will do my best to take care of my child.  This bill will not promote promiscuity any more than encouraging someone  to go to a war with very little weapons.  This is a war against oppression of rights. That of the mother, that of the child, and that of a society whose sheer number will result to a lack of resources.

Times like these call for a stricter bill that should be enforced properly.  Perhaps in due time, once we have reaped the benefits of having choices will we be more discerning. 

Mr. Bishop, unless you have the resources to feed all of us, give us shelter and clothing.  I suggest you stick to teaching us the way to care for our children when they are no longer hungry or running around the streets half naked.  I have the highest respect for life.  I have the highest respect for people who struggle everyday to make ends meet. However, my same respect for life binds me to respect quality of life. Contraceptives stop contraception as the name says.  Please, it is not the time to be extremely scientific about it.  The fact that you are using one means you do not wish to be pregnant.  Couples should have a choice about spacing their children.  After all, these are not just for teenagers.

Ten years ago, the 22 year old me had a choice.  I chose to raise a son.  These days, I wish for every woman to have a choice too. I choose LIFE, a better life. 

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