Of Life, Love and Loss

                        

Scoop on Suicide: Deconstructing Depression

             

 Carrie Fischer, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Brooke Shields, Jim Carrey and President Clinton and even Demi Lovato, or Britney Spears.  They are examples of celebrities who have been diagnosed with Bipolar or Depression. It doesn't make them any less successful. But they struggle with their illness everyday. But they are not the only ones who have this. Depression is just like any other illness, which is manageable, if detected and properly diagnosed. However, in the Philippines, people treat mental illness as a sickness for the rich. That a pyschiatrist is not a real doctor, and its not really a medical illness in the sense of the word. Worse, talking about it might lead to more suicide. But this couldn't be more wrong. Last Monday, August 18, we were lucky enough to be invited by my colleague in the events industry Nana Nadal. Without knowing when and where I immediately said yes. Like me, the topic is very dear to her. And because of this forum, may many more people come to learn about depression.

 We arrived at the venue at around 11AM, and we were greeted by Nana Nadal who was very busy with the logistics. It was a good sign that a lot of people were there early. From the looks of it, the Scoop on Suicide Forum for bloggers was going to be a very important and timely discussion.

 Dr. Dinah Nadera, a Psychiatrist and Consultant for Mental Health and Psychosocial Support Office of the World Health Organization Rep for the Philippines was the first speaker. She seemed like your very friendly friend/aunt/family member who happens to be an expert on the topic. She told us that the feeling of depression is when your world stops and you are no longer able to function. Otherwise, its just very deep sadness. I agree with her. For some people however, who have no reason to be sad, depression is really a chemical imbalance, it is something that no amount of positive thinking or talking could help, although there are a lot of cases that may be overcome simply by talking. People should be able to talk about depression without the stigma. There is also such a thing as fatal suicide and non-fatal suicide, which are terms that should be used instead of "commiting" suicide. There are also many features of suicide such as feelings of tiredness, sleep impairment, feeling of hopelessness, difficulty focusing, difficulty making decisions. These features made you think that this is not your typical sadness but something very real and common yet untreated.

Ms. Malyn Cristobal, an Addiction Counselor, and the founder of the Living Free Foundation, gave us a lowdown on the use of substance and depression. As someone who went to college in a place where drinking was a way to celebrate with friends, it was indeed enlightening to know how alcohol was really a depressant, despite the contrary. After all, here in the country, "tagay na" was used just as often as "hello". She mentioned that aside from alcohol, smoking (or nicotine) was also another depressant. No wonder there are a lot of incidents of fights in places where both alcohol and smoking are present. It made me realize how I have to be very vigilant in raising my son to avoid these things.

 Ms. Petra Maierhofer was an Occupational Therapist, Solution Focused Brief Therapy in Touch Community Services or ww.in-touch.org. The topic that struck me the most was the checklist for emotional well-being, and this is what she shared:

  - Do you care for others?

  - Do you like yourself?

  - Are you flexible?

  - Do you count your blessings?

  - Are you in touch with your emotions?

  - Do you value experiences rather than possessions? 

 I realized that these seemed like very simple things but at one time or another, I too have felt that I could not answer yes to all of them. Imagine not having all of the things mentioned above? And imagine feeling them day in and day out?

 There are a lot of other important lessons from that day. And the ones that I feel are most important are:

- Learn to ask for help. It doesn't matter who you reach out to, it could be your friend, or a person of authority, as long as you do. Even if they are not experts let them try and help.

- Be mindful of your own feelings, learn to say no too. Someone who was really important to me once told me how can you love others if you don't love yourself? and it's true.

- All it takes is one small step.
- People who cry for help, no matter how unlikely should be taken seriously.
- Depression is something you don't wish on your worst enemy. Help your loved one no matter what.
- No man is an island.
- Sometimes, a person can be helped through cognitive therapy. At times, he or she needs meds, and the right combination can really spell the difference.

- One bad day doesn't make it a bad life. Or even one small incident doesn't make it a bad day.

- It happens to the best of us.

- Be thankful.

- Enjoy the little things.

- You are loved.
- Hugs help
- When you love someone, you give them the space to figure things out, each form of depression is personal. When the time comes when they are ready, then just willingly accept them as they are. Flaws and all.
-Sometimes "how can I help?" is enough.
- You are enough.

              We all need to be loved and appreciated. Sometimes, we have all these things, yet we are still unhappy somehow. I once read about a group "my cancer, my blessing" and at the height of any illness, may we see the blessing that is behind each depression too. May we see the beauty behind our imperfections. With every tear, may we appreciate the happiness that comes after. With every loss of confidence, may we realize the strength we never knew we had. And with every heartache, may we realize the bigger capacity we have to love.

taken at tne Quezon City Circle near the venue, and we literally squealed with delight :)

Please contact: the following:

0917-3227807, www.livingfreefoundationph.com

Crisis Line: 893-7603/893-7606

0917-8001123/506-7314

0922-8938944/346-8776